i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
jump out the window naked night went bad
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
