i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
