i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I had to cum in my sink.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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