Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
