conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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