It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
