They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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