he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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