his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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