I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
