I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
