Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
