He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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