that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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