how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
whose ass print is on the piano?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
