You work out of a Hotel?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
