I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We left an ass print on the piano.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
