The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
