No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
