I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
