My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
