Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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