Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
