Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
