She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
