i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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