She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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