i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
