whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Someone shattered a urinal.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
