dude i'm inner monologue high
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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