she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
jump out the window naked night went bad
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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