Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
