If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
