If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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