Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
