So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
