sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
