we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
