She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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