Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
