What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize