Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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