its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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