I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
