Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have feelings that need drinking.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
