Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
