Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
