is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
