im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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