I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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