My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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