Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
