If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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