We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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