I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
