We're facebook friends in real life
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I look better un-naked...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
