Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This is my gift to your gina
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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