that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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