I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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