im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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