What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
