operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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