I cut my penus on the lid.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
