I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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